If you’re a midlife woman with menopausal symptoms including a hormonal libido dip, a sex toy might be what you need to help get your mojo back. So what are the best sex toys for women over 40? And can you have an orgasm after menopause? Read on, we have all the answers.
First things first, regular orgasms are so good for your physical and mental well being. Even healthcare professionals like our own medical advisor Dr Stephanie Goodwin are encouraging women to buy a vibrator to boost their midlife libido.
READ MORE Does menopause affect your libido?
Many women use sex toys to help their sexual intimacy and pleasure. During menopause they can help low libido, decreased sexual sensation and vaginal tightness. They’re also to hand when sex no longer feels pleasurable or just feels boring.
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Sex toys are not only great for solo play but can be used during couples play. They’re ideal if you struggle to orgasm during penetrative sex or find it is taking you longer.
Choose the best sex toy for women over 40
Before buying a sex toy, ensure you always choose a skin safe product from a reputable manufacturer or retailer. Materials such as rubber and jelly can be harmful as they are porous, making them difficult to clean, and they can degrade over time.
READ MORE How to have an orgasm after menopause.
Many people experience latex allergies so avoid latex sex toys. Silicone, metal and glass sex toys are all safe to use as they are non-porous and easy to clean.
We know that many women are often apprehensive about buying a sex toy so we always recommend starting small and working your way up. These best sex toys for women over 40 give you lots of options.
As 70% of women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm, bullet vibrators are a great way to begin your sex toy exploration.They are petite and discreet with a tapered tip for pinpoint stimulation, and can be enjoyed externally on the clitoris, vulval area, nipples and even the perineum and along the shaft of the penis.
Rocks-Off RO 90, £13.99
This is a 90mm long bullet vibrator, perfect for tantalising clitoral stimulation. From a gentle buzz to full-throttle powerful motor, it has a whopping seven different speeds and modes to choose from: low, medium, high and four different pulse patterns so it is a good idea to have a play to find which one works for you.
Powered by just one AAA battery which is included, it is perfect for solo pleasure or with a partner, easy to slip between you to enjoy clitoral stimulation especially if you struggle to orgasm during penetrative sex and great for foreplay fun too.
Being completely waterproof it makes bathtime much more fun and is discrete enough to slip into your bag when on your travels. If you are concerned about upsetting your partner by introducing a sex toy into your relationship, the RO 90 is the perfect sex toy to begin with.
Je Joue Mimi Soft, £69.99
This is my favourite pebble style clitoral stimulator. It’s a gorgeous clitoral stimulator that harnesses deep rumbling vibrations with five speeds and seven vibration patterns to choose from, enabling you to edge towards your orgasm time and time again.
Thanks to its soft and squidgy tip, Mimi Soft glides across your delicate skin, its ergonomic design sits snugly in the palm of your hand for added comfort, and its wide, flat design offers fuller stimulation of the clitoris and vulval area to fulfil all your needs.
Great for couples play, it is 100% body safe, waterproof and rechargeable. I love that the gorgeous design of Mimi Soft is so discrete you could leave it on the bedside table and no one will know what it is.
Satisfyer Pro 2, £44.99
It is quite hard to explain just how much pleasure I get from using this. It is a true innovation in clitoral stimulation, with a touch-free massage that is completely unique. Using sound wave technology, not vibration, the Pro 2 engulfs the clitoris and creates gentle pressure waves that gently suck and tease it with a choice of an eleven amazing intensities.
When it is in the right place on your clitoris it goes quiet and begins to work its orgasmic magic. Ideal for anyone, it is great for women who find it hard to orgasm, experience decreased sexual sensation or do not enjoy vibratory stimulation.
Being waterproof and rechargeable, you can enjoy hours of pleasure in the bath or in the bedroom, if you can last that long. I have yet to speak to a woman who hasn’t enjoyed this sex toy.
PicoBong Zizo, £39.99
This is of our most popular sex toys and we recommend it to those wanting to try a sex toy for the first time. It’s designed for both internal and external play. With a slim curved profile, coated in soft velvety silicone, this waterproof vibe has a whisper-quiet motor with 12 different speed settings and pulsation patterns.
It is perfect for clitoral stimulation and for vaginal pleasure, too. You can even use it on a partner along the shaft of the penis and around the head. Powered by two AAA batteries, it is really easy to use.
It is also recommended by healthcare professionals for women who experience painful sex, vaginal tightness, scarring or following gynaecological treatments to help stretch the walls of the vagina to make sex feel comfortable and pleasurable.
CalExotics Marvelous Lover, £61.99
It may look like a kitchen aid you would use to bake a cake but it is, in fact, a gorgeous flexible double ended personal massager offering 10 powerful vibration speeds and pulsation patterns. Being flexible, Lover holds its position, allowing you to get it in exactly the right place.
The uniquely shaped flat head with its clitoral bump, covers and stimulates the whole vulval area whilst the smooth silicone handle is great for internal pleasure. Powered by one rechargeable motor in the handle, the vibrations travel through to the head and you can bend the Lover so it stimulates both your internal G-spot and external clitoris for hands-free pleasure and blended orgasms.
With a self sealing charging port it is perfect for use in the bath or shower and easy to clean.
When people think about a rabbit vibrator, they think about the Rampant Rabbit. However rabbit vibrator design, function, power and quality has really moved on since then. Some women, myself included, can find some rabbit vibes problematic because they simply don’t fit our body shape, with ears sticking in because they are too rigid leaving you struggling to get it in the right place.
Rocks-Off Everygirl, £59.99
I love this one because it is so flexible, allowing you to get it in exactly the right place whatever your body shape.
The deep rumbling power of the vibrations located in the clitoral arm and shaft, drive precision stimulation to exactly where you want it with a range of pulsation patterns and vibration speeds. The ability to control the clitoral arm and shaft independently gives you complete control over how you enjoy your orgasm, blended, clitoral or vaginal. Additional sexual stimulation comes from the moulded rings on the head of the shaft for G-spot stimulation and on the clitoral arm.
Rechargeable and waterproof, it even has a really fun sensory pulse synchronised colour change LED which changes in time to the pulsation patterns and is great for play in the dark.
Doxy Massager, £89.99
I always love a multi-functional product and this is the most powerful intimate body massager I have ever experienced. The first time I used it, I orgasmed in 30 seconds through jeans.
Designed, engineered and assembled in the UK, the Doxy Massager is the most powerful mains operated wand massager in the world. Different from other wand massagers, the design of the hypoallergenic head means the variable speeds and pulse patterns of the vibrations roll and rumble rather than buzz, creating a very intense sexual sensation.
It is perfect for those women looking for a powerful toy and those who struggle to orgasm, in addition to penetrating deep into the soft tissue of the body for an all over body massage
The three meter long power cable allows you the freedom to move around the bed, sofa or wherever you are using it.
Icicles clear bumped glass dildo, £24.99
For many who are new to the sex toy market, glass sex toys might seem pretty daunting at first. Made of medical grade borosilicate glass, the same non-toxic material used by Pyrex, which can withstand extreme temperatures and physical shock, glass sex toys are beautiful in design, some looking like works of art you could display in your home. This makes them completely safe to use and feel sensual against the skin, especially if you prefer a firm, non vibrating sex toy.
This one is made up of a stack of sphere diameters which feel sensational as they are inserted and withdrawn.
Being non-porous means that it can be used with any type of lubricant and is a great way to experiment with sensory play, as it can be heated or cooled in water baths of varying temperatures. However, it is advisable not to put it in either the freezer or boiling water, as either could cause burning and damage to the skin.
Perfect for massaging over your clitoris, nipples, the head and shaft of the penis, NO. 2 can also be used for internal pleasure, too.
Fun Factory Amor, £36.99
Many people refer to sex toys as dildos yet the majority of dildos do not vibrate, unlike vibrating sex toys, so offer completely different sexual stimulation.
If you prefer a sex toy without vibrations, dildos offer a wide range of sizes, shapes and textures for all your needs. This one is a beautiful silicone dildo, perfect for those who know they want a toy which is substantial but not too big. Made from skin safe firm yet flexible silicone, Amor is gorgeously shaped with a base making it easy to hold and grip to very smooth surfaces. Amor is also great for those who find penetrative sex painful or uncomfortable as it can help dilate the vagina, making penetration feel more pleasurable.
Je Joue Mio, £74.99
This is one of my most favourite sex toys to share with my partner. It has a stretchy vibrating cock ring to accommodate larger gentlemen, or can be worn over both the penis and testicles. Rechargeable and waterproof, it is made from skin safe silicone.
Made from seamless silicone, Mio is comfortable to wear and will enhance the size and strength of an erection, helping your partner feel bigger, firmer and even last longer, something many women want. It can also help men who experience erectile dysfunction, enabling them to maintain their erection. It is a great toy to share if you struggle to orgasm during penetrative sex as it offers clitoral stimulation.
The shape of the wider, flatter motor harnesses deep rumbling vibrations offering five speeds and seven pulsation patterns, perfect for clitoral stimulation whilst making his penis vibrate for internal pleasure too.
The right lubricants
We always recommend using a skin safe pH balanced sexual lubricant with our products such as YES organic lubricants, £16.99.
Silicone products are only suitable for use with water based or oil based lubricants. Do not use silicone lubricants as these can damage the surface of the product, making it feel tacky to the touch
Glass, metal and ABS plastic sex toys are safe to use with oil, water and silicone based lubricants, such as ID Velvet Silicone Lubricant, from £6.99.